My parents were involved in a serious auto accident this past week. Both remain hospitalized, but have a good prognosis. Recovery will be slow, but we are grateful their injuries were not more serious. My three siblings and I have spent the week tag-teaming in the hospital. In fact, I’m writing this post from a quiet corner in a waiting area down the hall from Dad’s room. It is a good vantage point from which to watch people as they come and go. And a hospital is a good place to reflect on what does and does not matter.
I have tried to imagine how afraid they must have been, the terror they felt in the seconds after the crash, asking each other as soon as everything stopped spinning, “Are you okay?” A passing stranger yanked the door open and mom reached for him like he was a son. He held her like she was his mother. We didn’t get his name, but we are grateful.
I remember the text I got a few minutes after my brother called to tell me what had happened. A new member in our church said he didn’t know why, but somehow felt prompted to pray for me and my family that morning.
Standing over my father’s bed, I see my future in his face. My sons will lean over my withering frame and spoon yellow Jell-O into my mouth and wash my face and help me with private things.
My three siblings and I work well together, tendering care to the parents who cared for us. We have followed different paths but know how to walk in step. Family is precious.
Sometime in the night, I don’t know when because hospital clocks never tell the truth anyway, I take a break and walk down the hall. A woman is standing in the open door of a patient’s room talking to someone inside. She says, “His daddy told him to bring all that gang stuff home and burn it – sort of a ceremony. He said he’d do it and he did. So . . . maybe . . . let’s hope.”
In the morning, I hover over a cup of coffee, sitting at a table in the grill. A man and woman lumber by, presumably husband and wife, about my age, a little older. He says, “It is what it is and we have to make a decision.” She says nothing. They foot-drag through the atrium like people bearing a cumbrous burden.
I retreat to a quiet hallway to make some phone calls and respond to some texts. A woman in her twenties shuffles by, her hands hiding her face, her shoulders shaking uncontrollably. Tears and snot and grief leak through her fingers. Her husband is walking just behind her with his hand on her back, not saying anything, not knowing what to say, guilty in his silence. I dare not interrupt, but I want to tell him not to feel bad; grief that strong would render even a poet or priest speechless.
An elder from our church calls but I can’t answer the phone, so he leaves a voice message. He prays over voice mail. I’m keeping that one.
Three days after the accident, Mom is moved from ICU to the floor. I tell Dad that she’s coming by to see him and he asks me to comb his hair. Like most couples who have been married 62 years, they get on each other’s nerves from time to time. But when she sees him, she smiles. He tears up. So do their children, but we hide our snivels behind our phones, snapping shaky pictures and counting blessings.
The hospital is a place where people hurry up to wait and linger to worry. It is a place of opposites. Death is cursed and embraced. New lives are welcomed to the world while others bid it farewell. Hope and fear, relief and regret, joy and sorrow make their rounds from one room to the next.
The hospital is a lot like church. All kinds of people mill about and it is a good place to learn what matters and what doesn’t. God, family and friends matter. Race, economic status, and all the other things we fight over and strive for do not.
Been praying for your mom and dad and also for you and your siblings!
Love you all, Doris & Wayne
Great BLOG Jody. I love you Brother and know things will turn out OK.
I’ve been where you are several times and everything will be OK no matter the
outcome. JV
Praying for your parents and your family. I spent today at a hospital with an 85 year old friend because she called me to be with her when the doctor came to tell her husband what she’d just been told: he has cancer and it has spread, lungs, liver…he has dementia, but he understands and has questions and fears. We prayed; I told him that God is in control, is holding him close. Difficult for them and their grown children.
So thankful your parents will be OK. I lost my dad 4 years ago & we all miss him so much. I have also spent a lot of time in hospitals the past 3 years with my granddaughter, due to liver cancer & a transplant. Everyone you meet on a children’s cancer floor is dealing with something terrible. Thank you for expressing what many of us have felt when life is so uncertain.
Jody, I’m so thankful your Mom and Dad are doing well. And you’re so right about what is important and what isn’t, and oh, how maturity magnifies our awareness of that!
Jody: I am so sorry to hear about your parents accident please know I will be praying for them and your siblings as you all care for them. Praying for them
To feel peace and may they have complete healing ..lots of love to you and your
Family. Keep us posted
Jody, wonderful analogy of what a church should be, a hospital for people who are hurting. It’s amazing how much healing takes place from a hug, a kind word or just really talking to a person. I pray we will do that more and have been praying for your parents also. Exact same thing happened to my parents a long time back so I can sympathize.
Sorry to hear about their accident but good to know they are recovering. Prayers for them.
May your parents have full recovery, symptom relief and pain management. May all of you draw closer in live through this whole process.
Hi Deanna. Yes, things like this tend to draw us closer to God and to each other.
Jody, I prayed for your parents as soon as I read your blog. May God give you peace and may He touch your parents with His healing hands.
Marsy Thomas
My thanks, Marsy. Blessings to you.
Jody, I’m so thankful they’re going to be o.k. God certainly was with them in the middle of all of this. Prayers for a very speedy and good recovery for both of them. Love to you all, Louann Burnett
Louann. Thank you for your kindnesses now and through the years.
Happy to know that your parents are doing well. I will pray for their continued improvement. I gained so much inspiration from your posting s. Please keep my family in your daily prayers and convey my regards to Lisa. Love you always. Mary Kyser.
Sweet Mary. Thank you so much.
Beautiful thoughts and words… Keeping your entire family in prayer …
Thank you, Chandler. Blessings.
Praying for your parents and the whole family. Your observations bring our experiences flooding back. Thank you for the reminder of things important.
Many thanks, brother. One day, all of the hard things won’t even be memories any longer.
HUZZAH!!!!!!!!! They made it! I’m glad that they are doing well.
Thanks, Trey.
Thanks, JV. Glad they’re doing well.
Hello, old friend. Blessings to you and the entire Holt crew.
Wish I was there to pray over you the way you prayed over me. Long distance will have to do.
Prayer is always a local call, Ken. Thank you for your thoughts. Hang in there.
I am praying for your family and parents. This one brought tears to my eyes Jody, thank you so much for sharing. We all need to be grounded and what really matters. I’m going to hold my kiddos extra close today and every day.
Hi Erica. Thank you for your thoughts and prayers. Your kids are blessed to have you.
Love you brother and will be praying for their full recovery.
Thank you, my friend. Think of you often and with gratitude.
All around prayers..
Like many, I will pray for your parents, siblings and you. My mom died in March after having dementia for several years. My three siblings lived near her, but we tried stay with her more often. Yes, we will likely face this one day. Having our eyes on Christ looks better every day.
I am sorry to hear about your mom. And we will have coffee soon.
So sorry to hear about your parents’ accident. Glad they are making progress. Will be praying for their recovery!
Thank you, Jennifer. We are in that season of life where we take care of those who took care of us.
Praying for your parents, Jody.. May you have peace and patience through this trying time..
Thank you, Kathy. Peace and patience. I like the peace. Patience is such work.
Praying for your family and happy they are making progress.
Thank you, so much Betty.
You will never know how much your presence meant to us when Alyson was in the hospital so much, and when she finally became cancer free! I wish we could be there for you now, but know we are praying for all of you. We love you and your family.
Oh, Leanne. I think of that little angel so often. One of the richest blessings of my life was to know her. Thank you for the prayers.
I love your words and I love you. I’ll be praying for your parents and all who minister to them through their recovery.
Thank you, Kathy.
So thankful your parents are ok. Will be praying for their recovery and for all of you. Your post was wonderful as usual.
Love you
Just walking a path the Hendersons have walked with honor. Thank you, Sue.
Praying for your parents and you guys as you tend to them.
Thank you Robert. Fond memories of you and your family.
So very thankful God is always working behind the scenes…sparing them when this accident most assuredly could have easily taken their lives and now as they recover and heal. Beautiful beautiful picture. May God always bless you and your siblings with the peace and the patience that will be required as you continue caring for your precious parents.❤️
Thank you Daniele.
Thank you for your poignant reminder that no one is promised tomorrow. I’m so glad your parents survived the accident. I’ll be praying for their healing and for you all as you care for them. Is there anything we can do to help? We are willing. Love you, Jody.
Thank you, Susan. We have been well cared for. My siblings are amazing and Mom and Dad’s church (Central Occonee) and the folks at Campus View in Athens have been wonderful.
Awesome. Beautiful.
My dad died in 2012. While in the hospital, my mom had a weird fall and got a BAD concussion. So, for about 5 days, he was on the 3rd floor and she was on 6. Siblings took turns going back and forth visiting. On a Sunday he got in a wheelchair, combed his hair and went to visit her. One night I was leaving 6 at the end of visiting hours. She gave me a “love note” like a school girl and told me to drop it off to him on my way home. Those moments were exhausting and beautifully unforgettable. Hospitals are just as you describe and that makes them holy ground. Glad they’re recovering and I will pray for them.
Love you, JV.
Just found a note Mom sent to Dad. Maybe hospitals are also like Jr. Hi. Thanks, Jon.
Praying for you and your parents and family friend. Have spent way too many hours in hospitals.
Thanks, Mike. You are certainly in a position to empathize.
Such a sweet picture of your folks, Jody. I will be praying for their swift recovery.
I pray that God will continue to hold them close in His arms and bring them healing and all of you peace.
Thank you Dot. You know what it’s like, don’t you.
I had no idea you were going through this. You’ve taught me a lesson about ministering to others, in the midst of your own storms.
I appreciate you and love you,
Randy
Thinking of you, Jody, and praying for the continued recovery of your parents. I guess I am happy for you that you have parents worth crying for. We forget that the love we feel for them makes the pain all so much worse. I guess, if we are to be thankful in everything, be thankful for the pain.
A precious post from an obviously wonderful and loving son. Jody–Thank you for sharing. From my own “vantage point” working as a nurse in a hospital, I get to see a lot of families sitting along the bedside and caring for their loved ones. It’s one of the reasons I’m a nurse. The real-life stories of love keep me going in this profession. Then when I hear a story like yours with your Mom and Dad, it makes me keep going even more. Prayers lifted for your Mom and Dad! I hope they continue to get better and better!!! I’m working a 12-hour shift tonight, and I will think of you guys often, and pray for you often. Thanks for the inspiration.