The Test

Do you remember what it was like to be in Jr. High? That’ll be easy for some because you’re there now. (Hang in there — it gets lots better.) Or you may have Jr. High kids at home or teach them in school, so it’s not a big stretch for you, either.  Some of us, though, struggle to remember what it was like to be 50.  So let me refresh your memory.

When you are in Jr. High, you take the same test every day.  The Test does not measure your mastery of any particular subject and you don’t get a letter grade.  But, believe me, you are graded.  It’s a social test, not a Social Studies test.  And it has only four questions. The questions are True or False.  But they are mercilessly difficult and brutally direct.  And no matter how well you perform today, you have to take The Test all over again tomorrow. Because tomorrow, the answers may be different.

Question 1: True or False — I am noticed.

This is a critical question.  It’s why kids say, “Hey Dad, watch this!”  And why they ask, “Mom, did you see me?”  Because if I am not noticed, if I have to answer False to this one, I’m invisible.  I may be using oxygen and taking up space, but if no one notices me, I’m a cipher.  I may as well not exist.

So, when I was in Jr. High, I tried to wear what got noticed.  I went out for sports because the athletes got noticed.  I said or did crazy things sometimes, because crazy is noticeable.

But it isn’t enough just to be noticed.  Even if you can circle True on question number one, you are not finished with The Test.

Question 2: True or False — I am accepted.

I’ll call him “Bobby.”  He was in our Jr. High class.  We noticed him, all right.  He looked funny and spoke with a nasally voice and wore strange clothes which hung loosely on his oddly shaped frame. We noticed Bobby, but we never accepted him.

Bobby had to answer False to question number two. So the next year, he went to a different school. But even if he had been accepted, he might not have come back. Acceptance is one rung up the ladder from tolerance.  And who wants to settle for that? It isn’t enough for the circle to open up and let you in.  There are bogus ways to mark True on question number two.  Maybe you are just part of a package deal because a friend of yours is accepted and you ride her coattails.  Maybe people are afraid of you or feel sorry for you.  It’s easy to get a false True on acceptance.  That’s why there’s a question number three.

Question 3: True or False — I am valued.

This part of The Test  is painfully personal.  It demands to know, do I make a contribution?  Do they really want me?  Am I accepted for who I am?  Maybe they’re just doing me a solid.  Worse, maybe they feel sorry for me.  It’s bad not to be accepted. It may even be worse to be pitied.  So I need to know that I’m valued.

But even if I am, The Test has one more question.  And if you don’t answer this one right, it doesn’t matter how you answered anything else.

Question 4: True or False — I am loved.

Even if you are noticed, accepted and valued, you can never really feel secure.  Things that make you noticeable eventually achieve market saturation.  The basis of your acceptance can change, your contributions can lose their currency, or you can make a mistake.  That’s why you have to take The Test every day.  Your answers — like your membership in the group — are eternally provisional.

Unless you are loved.  If they love you, you can stop worrying about being noticed.  You don’t have to qualify for acceptance.  You can make mistakes and not be afraid of losing value.  You don’t have to hit a home run or sing the perfect solo or play your part like a Broadway star.  In fact, if all you do is exchange carbon dioxide for oxygen and take up space, you are safe.  Love makes you safe.

Here’s the sad part.  Some of us never graduated from Jr. High.  We’re still taking The Test.

We build our careers and accessorize our lives and play up our accomplishments in the hope that we’ll be noticed. All of our effort is just another way of asking, “Did you see me?”

We pay careful attention to the clothes we wear, the cars we drive, and the neighborhoods we live in.  If we can’t have money, we at least want to look like we have it.  We assume that if we get our tummies tucked, our wrinkles stretched and our physical inadequacies enhanced, we’ll be accepted.

And no matter how old we grow, we want to be valued — question number 3 on The Test.  We still want, still need to contribute.

Look, I’m not criticizing our need to be noticed, accepted and valued.  I don’t think those are bad desires.  I think they are human longings.  But here’s the thing . . . The Test has already been taken.

Question 1: True or False — I am noticed.

Answer: True.  Psalm 33:13 – 15, 18 — From heaven the Lord looks down and sees all mankind; from his dwelling place he watches all who live on earth — he who forms the hearts of all, who considers everything they do. The eyes of the Lord are on those who fear him, on those whose hope is in his unfailing love.

Question 2: True or False — I am accepted.

Answer: True.  Zephaniah 3:17 — The Lord your God is with you, he is mighty to save. He will take great delight in you, he will quiet you with his love, he will rejoice over you with singing.

Question 3: True or False — I am valued.

Answer: True. Romans 8:31 – 32 — What, then, shall we say in response to this? If God is for us, who can be against us? He who did not spare his own Son, but gave him up for us all — how will he not also, along with him, graciously give us all things?

Question 4: True or False — I am loved.

Answer: True.  John 3:16 — For God so loved the world that he gave his one and only Son, that whoever believes in him shall not perish but have eternal life.

The Test has already been taken and passed for you. A long time ago, in a far away country, on a skull-shaped hill, a man you’ve never seen noticed you, accepted you, valued and loved you.

You personally.  You specifically.  Jesus died on a cross to take The Test for you.  If you ever feel invisible, look at the cross.  That’s him noticing you.  If you ever feel rejected, look at the cross. That’s him accepting you.  If you ever feel worthless, look at the cross. That’s the value God placed on you.  If you ever feel unloved, look at the cross.  Even then, even there, he was loving you.